Changed
by Lexipedia13
Summary: Josh invites Lauren round and they share an intimate moment, after which Josh begins to question his sexuality. Set post Episode 22 of Series 7. Please R&R.
1. The Incident

**A/N: This was just something that came into my head after watching Episode 14 of Series 5. Set post Episode 22 of Series 7 (I think? I can't quite remember).**

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**Chapter 1: The Incident.**

Lauren thumped her fist against the front door.

"Josh, I know you're in there!" she yelled through the glass, "Open this door, NOW!"

Josh who was sat in the kitchen, stood up, groaning loudly.

Josh unlocked the door and Lauren pushed past him. Rainwater dripped from the umbrella in her hand.

"It's raining, in case you hadn't noticed!" her voice tinged with anger and a hint of sarcasm.

"Why are you here anyways?" Josh asked bluntly.

"I wanted to give you you're share of the cash." She said, pushing a wad of notes into his hand.

"Thanks." He replied, motioning for her to enter the living room. "I'll be back in a minute."

Josh jumped up the stairs as fast as he could. He knelt down by his bed, feeling gingerly for the packet he knew would be there. From it he pulled out a joint and flicking at the lighter impatiently, he lit it. He sat on his bed, savouring the few minutes. He felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had not smoked in over four hours.

Suddenly, without warning, his dream was ripped from him, as he saw Lauren's hand reach for the joint. Lauren had the key, the key to the door which let to freedom. Josh wasn't stupid; he knew Lauren wouldn't give it back.

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"You have got to stop." Lauren said calmly. She was sitting next to Josh on the sofa. "Josh are you listening to me?"

Josh had zoned out a while back and showed no signs of returning to earth. He was in a land far away.

Lauren wanting his attention, slapped him, causing Josh to recoil in pain. He shuffled away from her, towards the other end of the sofa.

"I'm listening." Josh said, before standing up and walking into the kitchen. Lauren raced after him. She saw him, yanking cupboard doors open, searching desperately for the bottle he needed so badly. Lauren saw him, wrenching the cap off the vodka bottle. Quickly she pulled it from his grasp.

"Josh, I know stopping the drugs will be hard, but getting bladdered just isn't the answer!"

"Just one glass." Josh begged, "Please Lauren!"

She nodded quickly before she had time to change her mind.

"Just one glass." She repeated.

Lauren handed the bottle back and Josh poured out two glasses of the clear liquid. The clink of the bottle against the glass seemed to relax him. It only made Lauren more nervous. Picking up the bottle, he handed a glass to Lauren, who took it warily and together they walked into the next room.

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Lauren sipped cautiously at the alcohol. It burned as it slipped down her throat, making her eyes water. Josh knocked back glass after glass, having forgotten the promise. Lauren's head felt fuzzy, her mind spun, flying circles round her. She declined Josh's offer or more.

"Lightweight." He laughed at her. Leaning in towards her, he kissed her tenderly on the lips.

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**A/N: Please review if you liked it or want more.**


	2. Running From Love

**A/N: I think I neglected to say, in the last chapter, that in this story, Sam didn't die. she will play a larger part in the later chapters. This is by far the largest chapter I've ever written. I'm sorry if you get fed up near the middle, but I did try to split it up to make it more manageable.**

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**Chapter 2: Running From Love**

"Josh!"

The curly haired boy looked up upon hearing his name. He saw Lauren, her heels clicking against the flooring of the school corridor.

"We need to talk." She told him firmly, "Now."

"What is there to talk about, Lauren?" he asked, desperately trying to mask the rage and fury burning inside him. He simply wanted, more than anything, to forget what had happened between them.

"You know what I'm talking about." Lauren stated sternly.

"Fine!" Josh hissed at her, "But not here!" Josh took her by the hand and dragged her out the double doors into the bright morning sunlight.

"What?" Josh yelled at Lauren, now that they were well out of earshot of anyone. "What the hell is there to talk about, Lauren?"

Lauren remained calm throughout Josh's outburst and once he had finished she began speaking. "Why did you kiss me?" she asked, eyes firmly fixed on his.

"It was a stupid mistake-I was drunk!" he shouted. Lauren felt tears pricking at her eyes. Josh's words had hurt in a way she never thought possible.

"I don't think it was." Lauren replied, shaking her head. Crystal tears glinted in her eyes and they began slipping down Lauren's face. Raindrops on a window pane.

"Does it even matter any more?" he asked, feeling utterly defeated.

"It matters to me." Lauren whispered. "I know you Josh."

"You don't know a thing about me!" Josh whispered menacingly, a silent fury burning in his eyes.

"I know you're confused!" Lauren sniffed.

"Just leave me alone, Lauren!" Josh began pacing quickly towards the school.

"There was a time when I loved you!" she screamed at his back. "And I would do anything to go back there, if I could just have you." Her voice trailed off into a whisper, leaving an uneasy silence between them. Josh continued walking away from Lauren and back towards the school building: Leaving Lauren an emotional wreck.

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Lauren wandered through doors. She looked like a ghost, tearstained cheeks and bloodshot eyes. Tears still rained down her cheeks. She stumbled down the corridor and into Finn's arms. He wrapped his arms round her, holding her close and silencing her sobs. Finn held her gently rubbing her back, until her sobs subsided into gentle hiccups. Lauren lifted her head; finally feeling composed enough to look her rescuer in the eyes. "Thank you." She mouthed to Finn. He nodded reassuringly at her, brushing damp tendrils from her face. Trudi ushered the pair into a vacant classroom and together, they settled Lauren into an empty chair.

"What's wrong?" Finn asked, his voice thick with concern. "Lauren?"

Lauren took several deep breaths before finding the words to speak.

"Josh…" she croaked and collapsed back into floods of tears.

"Prat." Finn fumed, "What did he do?"

"Getting angry isn't going to help, is it?" Trudi tried to diffuse the situation.

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Finn raced through the corridors, eyes scanning for signs of Josh.

Suddenly Finn collided with Tom, paper flying out in every direction. Tom cursed under his breath, kneeling down to collect the scattered sheets.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Tom asked, slightly annoyed.

"I'm sorry sir." Finn apologised, "But have you seen Josh?"

"No, why? What's happened?"

"Lauren's upset and I think it might be something to do with Josh."

"There's no need to jump to conclusions," Tom said in an attempt to defend his son. "Where's Lauren now?"

"Mr. Wilding's classroom." Finn replied before running on, continuing his search for Josh.

"When you find him, tell him I want to see him." Tom shouted to Finn who nodded in response.

"Lauren?" Tom walked over to her. Trudi kept her arm held round her friend protectively.

Lauren looked up, brushing at the tears quickly.

"Finn told me you were a bit upset. Do you want to talk about it?" Lauren shook her head.

"No, its fine sir, honestly." Lauren said standing up hastily.

"If you're sure," Tom responded, desperately trying to coax a conversation from Lauren. His efforts were unsuccessful and she walked out of the room.

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Josh felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and quickly pulled it out. Looking at the screen, he saw that he had received two new text messages. The first was from his Dad:

_**Sort out whatever's going on between you and Lauren. Dad**_

Being an English teacher, Tom always felt the need to use full sentences.

Reading the second text, he saw it was from Lauren:

_**Pls meet me at the park after skool. Lauren xx**_

Josh shoved the phone back in his pocket and continued with his work.

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Josh pushed the park gate open it squeaked indignantly on its rusty hinges. Seeing Lauren sitting on a bench on the other side of the park, he crossed the distance quickly. He sat down next to her and went to put his arm around her, but she shrugged him off.

"Why are you being like this?" Josh asked.

"Why are _you_ being like this?" Lauren retaliated.

"You know why."

"After all those things you said this morning, I don't think I do." Lauren said, shaking her head. "After all I don't know a thing about you."

"I'm just confused, Lauren." Josh cried, "Why can't you understand that?"

"You weren't this morning! You knew exactly what you wanted then." Lauren countered. Her voice softened slightly, "But I do understand, Josh." Lauren whispered, "It's like your mind is spinning a million times too fast…And you're just racing to catch up with it."

Josh allowed himself to feel the slightest bit relieved. He had finally found someone who at least partly knew what it was like to live inside his head.

"So, what do we do?" he asked.

"We just move on." Lauren replied bluntly, "It was just a kiss Josh, you said so yourself!"

"I know that! But it's like something changed inside me."

"So what?" Lauren asked, not quite understanding the meaning of Josh's previous sentence.

"Lauren, it's like I've been living a lie!"

"But, Josh, you're gay! You know that… Everybody knows that!" Lauren replied, disgusted at the thoughts that flowed into her head. Her best friend couldn't possibly be in love with her, could he?

"I wasn't always, was I? You and I, we did have something once, didn't we?" Josh breathed. "I don't know anymore."

"But you were just having a laugh, weren't you?" Lauren asked, she stood up quickly, not really wanting to hear the answer.

"I'm not sure!" Josh replied truthfully, "I don't know."

"Well you tell me when you _do_ know." Lauren replied as she walked away from him.

"I don't want to ruin our friendship over this!" Josh yelled to her, hands in the air.

"Bit late for that, wouldn't you say?" Lauren retorted sarcastically, her eyes full of unshed tears, but she would not let Josh see her cry. She had already done that once today, and once was enough.

Lauren ran as fast as her feet would carry her. She wished she could outrun her problems, but it didn't seem to be that easy.

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Everyone knew that Lauren Andrews never, ever cried, not once. Not even over boys. Except boys called Josh Stevenson: the amazing boy with the dark curly hair and melty chocolate brown eyes.

The one boy who had her heart, and always would, no matter what.

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**A/N: Please review. Constructive criticism is appreciated. What could be improved? Was it too long? I will try my hardest to update at least once a fortnight. Again I love hearing your thoughts, please review.**


	3. Realisation

**A/N: I'm sorry about the very long wait, as I've been without a computer for a good couple of months. I really wanted to get something out there, consequently its a bit short.**

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**Chapter 3: Realisation**

_**To: Finn, Josh, Sam**_

U guys up 4 a party? My place, 2nite?

Lx

_**To: Lauren**_

U no me! Anytime babe! C U then. I'll bring drinkz.

Finn

_**To: Lauren**_

I'll deffo b there.

Sam xoxo

_**To: Lauren**_

Cool, Lozza. C ya l8r.

-Josh xx

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Lauren sat up in bed. Not too bad for a few a minutes work, she thought. Lauren read and re-read Josh's message before she realised what was bothering her. It was the kisses…Josh never ended his texts like that. Lauren pushed the thought to the back of her mind. She would simply talk to him tonight.

Truthfully, he was the only she arranged the party, but it would be awkward if it were just the two of them.

"Hey!" Lauren pulled Sam into a hug as soon as she stepped through the door.

"I brought some pizza" Sam said, placing five huge boxes on the coffee table.

"Great!" Lauren replied, grabbing Sam's hand and pulled her into the kitchen.

"A drink m'lady?" Finn asked.

"Finn is the barman for tonight," Lauren added.

"Hey Josh." Lauren said instinctively as she heard the door click behind her.

"Hey to you too." Josh smiled, wrapping his arms around Lauren's torso. She stiffened at his touch.

"Don't touch me." Lauren said firmly as she wriggled from his grasp.

"Lozz-" he began, his face falling.

"Hey you two, stop the touchy-feely and get in here." Finn called from the living room door. "Let's get this party started!"

Lauren awoke to see a bright beam of sunlight streaming through the purple living room curtains.

"Eugh." Lauren groaned, rubbing her temples vigorously.

"Hey, hey, hey." said a familiar voice.

"Josh?" Lauren turned to the side, Josh's eyes blazed back at her. "What are you doing there?" Lauren twisted her body round to face him, nearly slipping off the sofa in the process. "What the hell happened last night?" Lauren asked looking round the room cautiously.

Sam was asleep in the armchair, across from the pair, a blanket thrown over her. Finn lay near to her, his bed a tangled mass of blankets and cushions.

"Nothing happened, Lauren." Josh said trying to put her mind at rest, "Well…not between us anyway," Lauren managed a slight smile. Josh brushed some curls from her forehead.

"How much did I have to drink?" Lauren mumbled eyes half closed.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Josh was trying not to laugh.

"That much, huh?

"Well it wasn't actually that much." Josh chuckled inwardly. "We all know to can't you can't handle your drink." he teased planting a light kiss at her crown.

Lauren looked up at him, "You really should stay away from alcohol, babe." Josh scolded her, grinning.

"Shut up," she whispered, smiling.

"Never." He whispered, always wanting the last word.

It was just like old times, before that stupid kiss had ruined them. _Don't you dare wreck it,_ Lauren told herself.

"Do you like me?" Lauren asked. Josh looked slightly taken aback, as he gazed at her from behind chocolate brown eyes.

"Of course I do." Josh stammered, "You're my best friend."

"You know I don't mean it like that…Do you… love me?"

Josh exhaled, his chest falling. "What if I said _yes_?" he questioned, weighing up his options. "What if I said _no_?" he added.

"Just tell me, Josh please. I need to know." Lauren pleaded.

"Why Lauren?" Josh asked, "Why does it matter?"

"I need to know." Lauren begged, tears springing to her eyes.

"Why?" Josh queried, infuriating her even more.

"Why… Josh? Why the hell do you think? I love you, you stupid idiot!" Lauren swallowed, "I always have."

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**A/N: What do you think guys? Leave a review.**

**-Lexi**


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